I've decided to link up with Women Living Well for the 31 day "Making Your Home a Haven" Fall Challenge.

Week #1's challenge is this:

Go buy an extra large candle and light a candle everyday in your home. Each time the candle catches your eye, say a prayer for peace in your home.

On the Women Living Well blog, Courtney gave two scenarios:

"Home #1
1. The woman of the home is distant. She is pulled into her computer, television, books, or text messages and it’s hard for the family to connect with her. She wonders why no one seems to listen to her? The children don’t obey her and her husband is insensitive.

2. The woman of the home is distracted. Her calendar is very full and her daily demands are so high it’s hard for her to focus and live in the moment with her husband and children. She is often late and rushing everyone and feeling guilty about being distracted but stuck in this rut of feeling overwhelmed and too busy.

3. The woman of the home is crabby. She is short on sleep, she hasn’t had a minute alone since the 1990′s and she really can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel to get a break. She is hopeless.

4. The woman of the home is discontent. She doesn’t like her home. She doesn’t like her husband. She doesn’t like one or all of her kids. She doesn’t like her church. She doesn’t like her neighbors. Truthfully, she doesn’t even like herself.

5. The woman of the home doesn’t pray. It’s counter cultural. She’s never lived in a home with a mom who prays. She doesn’t know other moms who pray. She wants to try praying but doesn’t know where to begin so she never begins.

Home #2

1. The woman of the home is engaged. She is aware of what everyone is doing right in that moment. If a child needs help or correction – she is right there to give it. If her husband needs a hug, an encouraging word or a helping hand she is right there to care. She is playful and makes time to tickle, dance, play checkers or Wii with her family. This is a woman whose family praises her (Prov. 31:28).

2. The woman of the home is wise with her time management. She guards her family from getting so busy that they lose their connection with each other. She dissects her calendar and eliminates things that are unnecessary. She is prepared when it is time to go somewhere to alleviate the stress that comes from late minute rushing. She and her family enjoy the slow paced life she has created in her home.

3. The woman of the home has a pleasant demeanor. She does not stay up late watching television, reading, surfing the web or working. She goes to sleep at a reasonable hour so she can wake cheerfully for her family. She knows that some seasons of life are harder than others so she is patient with her season of life and is confident that she will reap what she has sown. She works diligently trusting God with the results of her labor.

4. The woman of the home is content. She knows that no home, husband, child, church or neighborhood is perfect. So she chooses to be content with what God has given her for today.

5. The woman of the home prays. She knows that she is weak but God is strong and that she cannot fulfil the role of wife, mother, homemaker and sometimes employee, on her own strength. She is completely dependent on God and practices this dependence by daily praying for all of these things."

I want so badly to live in home #2, and in many ways I do, but I also struggle a lot with issues in home #1. I pray many times a day (yay for #5!) that God will give me the strength and wisdom to be the best mother and wife I can be. I love Nathan, but I'm so bad at showing it in the little day to day things. He talks, and I allow his words to go in one ear and out the other. He often gets a non-enthusiastic "Hi" from across the room when he gets home from work. I get frustrated with the clutter in my home, so I remove myself from everything going on around me. I know I'm so blessed, but I tend to often find something to complain about. That's not the wife or mother I want to be.

So this week, I'm challenging myself to disconnect from House #1 and fully, 100% be the woman in house #2.



How fitting that this is a "Celebrating Home" candle to celebrate our home and pray for peace in our home.





I read a blog post today yesterday two days ago that really touched me, and that I could totally relate to. We all struggle at some point. We all have ups and downs in our lives, and there are times when we're all totally physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. I've been dealing with that a lot lately. I've considered writing about it, but I was concerned that anyone who may come across my blog, or that post specifically, would think, "Aw, what a Debbie Downer," and never read my blog again. Not sure why I'm concerned with what others think; I guess that's just part of life, right?

Anywho, writing's not my forte, but bear with me. After re-reading this, I got much more specific than I intended to at times. Just throwing that out there. I'm not looking for a pity party, but boy does it feel good to get it out.

Nathan and I have been together for 9 years this month, married for 4 in May. The 'Newlywed stage' is over...it's been over for a long time, and I don't like it. We started    awhile back, and during that time, things were great. We made an effort to make an effort, ya know what I mean? We were challenged to put each other first, and that really made us, or at least me, happy. I can't speak for him. You'd think it'd be easy to always put the one you love first, but, especially as the parents of a toddler, it's not. To be honest, we have barely spoken in two days...until last night. (Remember, I started working on this two days ago).

I have a history of struggling with depression. I was doing great without meds, but then over the last several months, I've been struggling more and more. I think what it all boils down to is finances, and the fact that Nathan will have to quit work in 5 months, and our bills will actually increase while he's in school, so we will be stretched really thin.  I keep telling myself that it will all be worth it in the end. Nathan is really encouraging me to be a stay at home mom when he finishes school, which is looking better and better to me, though I've never wanted be a SAHM. However, I'm afraid to do that. I'm afraid I'll regret my decision. If you are a SAHM, especially if you were once a working-outside-the-home mom, I'd love to hear experience/feedback.

I say that staying home "is looking better and better" because I'm starting to think that maybe I didn't make the right career choice. I chose nursing school because I'm a female (excuse the stereotyping), and I didn't know what else I might want to do, so it seemed like an obvious choice. My heart's not in it, but I don't want to leave my current job in search for another position, because I have a pretty sweet set-up. I work Monday- Friday, about 7:30am-4:30pm. No weekends or holidays. I do my own thing. I technically don't have to supervise anyone or have anyone over my shoulder supervising me. My schedule is super flexible, so if I want to go to one of Natalie's holiday parties at daycare or if I need to leave to pick her up because she's sick, it's not a problem. This may not seem like anything special to some people, but for a nurse, it's great. Being unhappy isn't worth it, but I don't want to burn any bridges.

Ok, so I had a lot more to get off my chest prior to Nathan and me having a heart-to-heart conversation last night, but I feel better about some things since then. That just goes to show that communication really is key in a relationship. It's also our biggest downfall.

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